Well, I had a lot of hope going into my doctor's appointment today. Unfortunately, I think it was a waste of my time and money. Really, do I need to go to an office, with my kids, just to be told what the GI nurse told me over the phone?

I asked him if he knew about a support group closer to home, and he didn't. I asked him if he knew what I should do about testing my kids, and he said I should only worry about it if they had symptoms (this seems to contradict what I've been reading). He told me I would be an expert on this disease in a short time. I also couldn't believe he didn't have any hand-outs for me or even a list of resources to look into. I told him I had heard the leader of the support group near me was a lab tech in his office-this was news to him!

I left crying at my frustration again. My kids were great (well, not in the office); they asked if I was alright and gave me hugs!

I decided to check out a local grocery store I knew had information on the support group and sold gluten free items. I really don't know how I'm going to afford this, but I don't have the option not to. Even if I make my own pasta and breads, I have to buy the special flour. A 2 1/2 pound bag was over $10 and and 8 oz. box of pasta was over $3! I am going to look into some recipes and see what I need to have in my pantry.

Cereal is Found!

Joy. Excitement. Full. A few words to describe my feeling right now.

Last night I received a phone call from my area Celiac support group leader. What a relief to find her! She has been living gluten free for 30 years and knows what I am going through. It was great to hear all that she had to say.

She gave me some web sites to look into and is going to send me a packet of information. But right now I am most pleased that I am able to purchase regular General Mills Corn and Rice Chex! They also have some with flavors and all are Gluten Free!!!

I went out this morning (even before I took a shower) and went to the grocery store. I bought all the kinds I could have that looked good to me. I think I told you how much I like my cereal. I have just felt like I have been starving myself the last couple of days. It feels so good to get a good breakfast to start my day. I also think this is the most positive I have felt in a while.

Later today, I have another doctor's appointment. I am looking forward to this (even though I have to tote my kids with me) and getting some more information. I especially want to focus on where I go from here and what to do about testing my kids.

Crying. I've been doing a lot of crying lately. Most of it is out of frustration, but a little is feeling sorry for myself. I feel like I'm going at this alone and it's a harder journey than I thought it was going to be.

Last night I went to bed feeling starved. I know I probably didn't eat very well yesterday, but I was just trying to eat what I thought I could. I made tacos for dinner. I read all the labels, but honestly, I'm not sure what could be hidden that I don't know about. I think I was safe, but I'm really not sure. I did eat a lot since I didn't eat much else for lunch and breakfast. Unfortunately, I think the rice crispies I ate wasn't safe since I later learned that malt flavoring contains gluten and it was in the cereal.

Today, I only had some yogurt and juice for breakfast. I took my kids to the zoo and packed a lunch, but I only had some cheese, chips (they may have had something I can't have) and grapes. I'm not sure yet what we are going to have for dinner. Probably left over tacos for me.

The crying for me today started when I returned from the zoo. I had a message from the pediatrician's office. When I returned the call the nurse said I could have my kids tested but she wasn't sure if my insurance would cover it. I would need to contact my company and ask. I called the insurance company and explained what I was looking for and she said she needed a letter explaining why they would need this test. OK, so I called back the pediatrician and explained what I needed. She said since there is no history with the kids, I would need to have my Dr. explain it to the insurance company. Anyway, I just became so frustrated by the whole thing that I cried, again.

I just want to get healthy and want to make sure my kids are healthy. I know the insurance just wants to make sure I'm not making a false claim, but I feel like a circus act, jumping through all the hoops.

On the bright side, I have a meeting with my family doctor tomorrow to discuss my results and my GI doctor sent some information in the mail that I just received. Also, the book I have been looking for is at Target and my husband is going to pick it up for me on his way home from work.

Today I found out that I have Celiac Disease.

I have a lot to learn about this and how it is going to change my life and those that are close to me. I am definitely ready for this journey as I am assured that it will help me feel better and be healthier for the rest of my life.