Thursday, August 13, 2009

Crying. I've been doing a lot of crying lately. Most of it is out of frustration, but a little is feeling sorry for myself. I feel like I'm going at this alone and it's a harder journey than I thought it was going to be.

Last night I went to bed feeling starved. I know I probably didn't eat very well yesterday, but I was just trying to eat what I thought I could. I made tacos for dinner. I read all the labels, but honestly, I'm not sure what could be hidden that I don't know about. I think I was safe, but I'm really not sure. I did eat a lot since I didn't eat much else for lunch and breakfast. Unfortunately, I think the rice crispies I ate wasn't safe since I later learned that malt flavoring contains gluten and it was in the cereal.

Today, I only had some yogurt and juice for breakfast. I took my kids to the zoo and packed a lunch, but I only had some cheese, chips (they may have had something I can't have) and grapes. I'm not sure yet what we are going to have for dinner. Probably left over tacos for me.

The crying for me today started when I returned from the zoo. I had a message from the pediatrician's office. When I returned the call the nurse said I could have my kids tested but she wasn't sure if my insurance would cover it. I would need to contact my company and ask. I called the insurance company and explained what I was looking for and she said she needed a letter explaining why they would need this test. OK, so I called back the pediatrician and explained what I needed. She said since there is no history with the kids, I would need to have my Dr. explain it to the insurance company. Anyway, I just became so frustrated by the whole thing that I cried, again.

I just want to get healthy and want to make sure my kids are healthy. I know the insurance just wants to make sure I'm not making a false claim, but I feel like a circus act, jumping through all the hoops.

On the bright side, I have a meeting with my family doctor tomorrow to discuss my results and my GI doctor sent some information in the mail that I just received. Also, the book I have been looking for is at Target and my husband is going to pick it up for me on his way home from work.

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